This is based on another shard's roleplay. Im telling this because I mention Wulf in Squeax's Bass Akwards post.  Its fiction but parts of it are pure Rain, who is the woman driving Squeax. The smart mouth is all me, and bleeds into her.  I also cleaned up the actual language used. I dont object to profanity but try to curb my potty mouth to R rated when others minor children might read or hear me. 

I shall tell you a story of someone you shall never meet. How I met my friend Wulf!  I do miss him, he wanders other lands. 

This was just after the Trinsic wars. You know when they got conquered by Old Brits troops. I had moved down to Trinsic from up near Wind. 

Well I had wandered into a tavern and sat down to get a drink.  After ordering a shot I looked around.  There was this big, I mean BIG, shaggy looking guy nursing a tankard of ale in the back corner. Looked to be a woodsman or maybe a smith.  Several farmers at a table in the middle. Most of the bar where I sat was empty.

The bartender was chatting me up, being flirty. I didnt mind, I sure liked his drawl. All slow and warm like melted chocolate. I'm sitting there drinking and flirting back when in walks this gorilla. He lands on the stool next to me and gives me a once over. Then he opens his pie hole and says. 

Whats a pretty little thing like you doing here?

I look him dead in the eyes and say 

Surveying my conquered territory 

The gorilla blinks at me, the bartender snickers, I hear a guffaw or two  then silence as what I said sinks in.

YOU BLOODY BITCH comes out of his mouth as he gets up off his stool to take a swing at me. That big bear guy in the corner? He can move FAST! He stopped that swing and cold cocked the gorilla. Laid his arse right on out flat! Turned around and growled at the rest of the tavern. 

I dont care what she said. NO ONE hits a woman around me.  Anyone else want a piece? 

Well there were no takers. Guess Trinnies are smarter than this lot looked. And really HE started it. I was minding my business.  Thinking it for the best the tavern keep asked me kindly to take my arse elsewhere.  Big Bear followed me out.

Turning around to ask him what the heck he was doing he started laughing at me. HE LAUGHED at me. 

Honey you sure got a smart mouth on you. I like that! My name is Wulf, if you can piss off a whole tavern with four little words like that? I want to know you.